A photo and a video

A PHOTO AND A VIDEO BUT WHICH ONE IS WHICH - If you know the answer call us on 0909090909090909 calls cost £350 per minute, all the money goes towards the charity for those poor forcibly retired bank chairmen. If we raise over the £2 million threashold needed to provide a decent standard of life for one banker, for one whole year, we will try to raise another £1 million so we can have a seat in the House of Lords.

Please do not call the number. Any calls to this number may still be charged even though it is a wholly made up number. Calls will be recorded for blue peter staff training purposes. Keep up repayments on your mortgage otherwise your DVD player may be repossessed. You must be over 85 years old and have the signature of your grandmother to verify your identity. Insurance will be invalid if you do not answer all the questions honestly with falsehoods. All our Indian call centres are based in the UK. Calls from mobile networks will be proof that you are considerably more stupid than first anticipated. All complaints will be dealt with within 48 working years. These conditions are available in braille for the deaf and/or sign language for the blind. Written quotations are available in all good bookshops.